subscribe for recipes straight to your inbox!Sick of hearing about how awesome the Blonde Brownie Cookie bars are in lockdown?  Don’t have it in you to figure out what kind of felony would get you a little time but not too much time {because, you know, no Netflix in Prizzie} so you can enjoy these ooey gooey caramelly blondies too?    Well lucky for you {and ME}, you don’t have to!  Even though you will agree after you try these – they’d be worth the court costs and the shame your Mom would have to endure at Bridge Club. (This post contains affiliate links. See our full disclosure here.) We all have “that one family member”.  *sigh*  Lucky for us – they DO come in handy!  Besides making us all look better and upping our self esteem.  Nothing takes the heat off of a person from Grams for only having 3 kids quicker than Cousin “Meghan” {names and entire story has been changed to protect the guilty} doing time for harassing Bigfoot in California , amiright?  

This recipe had to be scaled down using my ah-may-zing math skillz.  I took the liberty of assuming you did not, in fact, want to make enough for 500+ people.   If you do – then you are going to have to do some reverse mathing.   And get a really big oven.    Here’s what we are going to end up with people…… These are what they look like hot out of the oven – Ooey, gooey and SO YUMMY!  kitchenaid mixer kp2671xwh partsK, so let’s do this!  waring-commercial mx1050xt xtreme hi-power blenderFirst let’s gather the simple ingredients:hamilton beach wave crusher 54221 Preheat your oven to 350° F.  black and decker blender parts bl600b

Now grab a 9″x 13″ baking dish and grease and flour that baby up. Set that aside and let’s get to work creating the magic that are Prison Blondies. Combine your Baking Powder, Salt and Flour together in your LARGE mixing bowl and sift it all together: I don’t have an official baking sifter but I’ve got my eye on THIS one.  In the meantime I just have to  use a whisk and mix it all together really really good.  hamilton beach blender 1g53600Set that aside and let’s move on to the yummy part!waring blender 8010bu Add your brown sugar to a medium mixing bowl.  hamilton beach blender model 50100I like using my mixing bowl with the handle and spout for this part – it comes in handy later on in the process.  

Melt your butter in a sauce pan over low heat stirring occasionally until it’s clear, then pour it over your brown sugar: Beat the Butter and Brown sugar together with a hand mixer or your fancy fangled KitchenAid mixer for 2 minutes on LOW speed: {don’t cheat on the times, people.  It’s super important in this recipe so SET A TIMER for the love of Pete} It should look like this – getting all caramelly and delish looking: Add Eggs  and Vanilla to Brown Sugar and Butter mixture: Yes, I know, that “1/2” egg was annoying but I’ve tried them with just 4 and they were way flat and then with 5 and they were too fluffy.  Scaling down a ginormous recipe is a bugger! Beat with your mixer on Medium Speed for 8 minutes. {This will feel like an eternity.  Srsly, are you using your timer?  I can’t stress this enough so stop trying to guestimate!  You’re going to ruin them and then be all “they weren’t that good – probably because I’m not sharing a community shower” but really, you just didn’t follow directions.  

Which leads to prison – so either way you will end up enjoying these.} Lookit how it’s all fluffing up and changing color!  Okay now if YOU ARE SURE it’s been 8 minutes – pour your wet mixture on top of your dry ingredients you sifted together in the BIG mixing bowl:Why add the wet on top of the dry and not visa versa?  So the dry ingredients get smothered and don’t POOF all the freak over your kitchen when you start mixing them together.   I’m a culinary problem solver from way back. Beat with mixer for 2 minutes on High Speed, scraping down the sides with your spatula.  This is the texture and look you want: Now pour all of that goodness into your pre-prepped greased and floured 9×13 baking dish: Spread it all around evenly into the corners with your handy dandy spatula.  You really don’t have to worry too much about this – it spreads out and fluffs up a TON while baking.  Make SURE your pan is not more than 50% full to the top or it will overflow in your oven.  

Learned that the HARD way. Put it in your preheated oven and bake at 350°F for 45-55 minutes {depending on how gooey you want yours}. See how much it fluffs up? Let them cool for 30-45 minutes before cutting. This is how they look closer to the 45 minute mark: So gooey with a cookie type crust! And this is how they look closer to 55 minutes: Still gooey but not AS gooey and with a thicker cookie type crust.   If you let them cool for over an hour they are easier to cut into neater bars.  But waiting is hard.  What’s not hard is deciding how you want yours served to you.  In the comfort of your living room with the people you love and a big glass of milk? Or in a thin plastic baggie on your bunk during headcount. So next time you are contemplating spiking a tree in Oregon to score you some of these heavenly treats, just remember – you can make these at home now.   You would probably just end up in County Jail anyway and EVERYONE knows they don’t serve Prison Blondies in County.

Here’s the handy dandy printable recipe for you! 4 1/2 C Flour 2 T Baking Powder 1 t Salt 2 C Butter 5 1/4 C Dark Brown Sugar 4 1/2 Eggs {Sorry to do this to you - but 4 and a HALF is the ticket} 1 T Vanilla Extract Preheat oven to 350°F Grease and Flour 9X13 Baking dish and set aside. Sift Flour, Baking Powder and Salt together in large mixing bowl and set aside. Melt Butter on low stirring occasionally until clear. Put Brown Sugar in Medium Mixing Bowl and add hot melted Butter and beat with mixer on low speed for 2 minutes. Add Eggs and Vanilla to Brown Sugar and Butter mixture - Beat with mixer on Medium Speed for 8 minutes. Scrape down bowl with spatula occasionally. Add the wet mixture on top of your dry mixture in the large mixing bowl to minimize powder "poofing out" of your mixing bowl while you mix. Beat with mixer for 2 minutes on High Speed. Pour mixture into your greased and floured 9x13 Baking Dish. Spread evenly to corners with a spatula. Bake 45-55 minutes at 350°F {Depending on how gooey you want them} Let cool in dish for 30-45 minutes.

Cut into squares and serve! {On a pretty plate with a big glass of milk if you are a civilian enjoying your freedom - In a thin ugly plastic baggie if you chose the felony option to getcha some of these goodies} *Unlike how some things taste better 'camping' - these, in fact, taste PHENOMENAL whether you are 'camping' or in the comfort of your own home. Ooey gooey goodness that is so yummy you won't care where you are. Make sure to PIN THIS IMAGE where it’s handy – you’ll be wanting to make these on the regular.   Make sure to share this with your friends on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and wherever else all your hungry treat loving buddies hang out.  Happy baking “on the outside”! Looking for more delicious cookie treats?  We’ve found the BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES & Treats recipes!  You may regret looking at these….because oh my YUM!  From the classic chocolate chip cookies to toll house cookie PIE – you’re going to be in chocolate chip treat HEAVEN!